Five Other Michigan Things That Were Found Buried With The Mastodon

As you may have heard, some Mastodon bones were found buried at a construction site in northern Kent County. Here's some other things they found.

The Mastodon Bones Were Found West Of 131 On 22-Mile Road

The bones will be turned over to the Grand Rapids Public Museum so that everyone may enjoy them, because who doesn't enjoy a good mastodon skeleton? Experts say the furry mammal was young, perhaps a juvenile mastodon, and is around 13,000 years old.

“What I thought [initially] was a femur and a tibia [discovered], but just in the last few minutes we’re looking at them and they may be two femurs and from the same side. If that’s the case we have two animals,” Scott Beld, a research assistant at the Museum of Paleontology at the University of Michigan told WOOD-TV.

Once the bones are fully excavated, they will be processed through the University of Michigan.

Here's Some Other Things They MAY Have Found Along With The Bones:

The First Ever Faygo Flavor

Apparently, the pop shop was up and running in 10,000 BC and the first flavor was Rock And Rye, what with it being the Stone Age and all. Not only that, but it was DIET Rock nd Rye, meaning even early mastodons were trying to lose weight.

Carved Rock Figures That Mysteriously Resembled The Insane Clown Posse

Yes, early man walked this earth as Juggaloes first, thus changing experts original theory that the earliest Michiganders were Kid Rock fan first, and then later evolving into Juggaloes.

Proof That Dinosaurs Used Their Right Hand To Point Where In Michigan They Were From

Prior to this, it is believed that Michigan had not yet formed into its famous 'Mitten' shape, but the stone carvings found differ with that belief, showing a Brontosaurus distinctly showing a Pterodactyl where he lived by pointing to the thumb region of his right hand, indicating he was from 'Ubly'. But as you can see, like many early Michiganders, he forgot to use his left hand to form the Upper Peninsula.

Proof That The First Bob Seger Concert Ever Was In Flint

Despite the fact the your grandfather claimed he was at the first Seger show ever in Ann Arbor, tickets unearthed with the teen mastodon show he had tickets to a Flint show two days before the show Grampa went to. Sorry, Gramps, your memory is fading.

Ancient Creatures Cured Themselves With Vernors

While University of Michigan experts felt that ancient tribal medicine men didn't figure out the curative powers of Vernors until the third century BC, a bottle of Vernors lying next to the giant mastodon indicates he tried to heal his wounds using the oak aged Ginger Ale. Unfortunately, it didn't work. He should have gone to the doctor. So should you.