Michigan Excuse Bingo For Jim Harbaugh’s 4-Game Suspension

Jim Harbaugh will be suspended for four games this season, and, despite what shamelessly disingenuous and hypocritical Michigan fans are saying, it's not because he bought a recruit a cheeseburger.

That's the narrative they're running with, and one could understand why. For one, the school is pushing that angle, and the Detroit media has hopped right to attention and obliged its friends in Ann Arbor in helping to disseminate that message. For two, and most importantly, Michigan's entire facade is built on the myth and outright lie of their own moral superiority.

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For years, Michigan fans have bitched and whined about impropriety at Ohio State, Michigan State, the entire SEC, and any/every other opponent they've lost more games to than they've won. If you're unfortunate enough to have a U-M fan in your life, there's no doubt you've heard countless diatribes and gripes about Jim Tressel and Urban Meyer for cheating at Ohio State, Mark Dantonio for embracing the criminal element as part of his Michigan State program, Nick Saban and Kirby Smart for paying players, and innumerable other works of fiction born of a complete inability to take a hard look in the mirror and acknowledge their own program's shortcomings.

Anyone not in the Michigan cult already knew the U-M moral superiority act was completely baseless, but today's news of the Harbaugh suspension and the subsequent reaction of his mindless Michigan minions absolutely seals it. They're out in force doing damage control on this story, throwing out every excuse and straw-man-argument misdirection, no matter how irrelevant, in an effort to deflect criticism, and to avoid confronting the reality that they're no better than the programs they’ve been complaining about and preaching at this entire millennium.

Michigan ought to lobby the NCAA into making mental gymnastics an officially sanctioned sport. Not only would they dominate it, they’d also actually win a championship for a change.

Let's have some fun with this ought-to-be-studied-by-academics-and-the-world’s-foremost-psychologists case of mass formation psychosis. Check out the Michigan Excuse Bingo Card below. Odds are it won't take long for you to hit.